You can have my love, you can have my smiles.

AaAAahAhAaaAAHhhhh...

Here's food for thought...I'm going to be interning at the Sydney Opera House this summer. Whaaaaaaaat??

Yup. I'll be working in the marketing department, which involves event planning, writing press releases, being the coffee and donut bitch, spending wayyyy too much time on the phone, watching world-class performances for FREE!! et cetera. It's unpaid, but I mean...come on. It's the world's most recognizable music landmark and to someday have a job that somewhat resembles this one is my dream. I can't wait to meet new people (aussies!), to plan and run performances like oh, I don't know...the Copenhagen Royal Chapel Choir, Madame Butterfly, The Australia Ballet, the Berlin Symphony Orchestra. Shit.

And of course there's the bittersweetness of leaving what could I could have done behind - stay in Ann Arbor and work to pay for these recording costs which are kicking my ass right now (god, could my mouth be any more potty today? Jesus. Oh, and there I go blaspheming...twice...sweet.), not to mention finish the album, which is SOOOO close to completion I could just sit and gnaw on my fingernails from anticipation. But the more I think about it the more I see how much I really need to get out of this town that is starting to feel smaller and smaller with every year, and broaden my horizons...I've been in ann arbor for about two years straight now and after this disgusting winter holed up in my room, I need something...what is it? i know...beauty! adventure! risk! a new environment, new people, new experiences. A clean slate. The end of my college career is sneaking up so much faster than I thought it would. Shit is getting real. I don't know if it's good or bad that getting this internship feels like the most adult thing i've ever done in my life. I'm flying to a totally unfamiliar place by myself, living on my own, working for myself (albeit unpaid), doing things for me, and not for a teacher or professor for once. Weird.

But seriously....the album. In the name of everything holy, it sounds fucking beautiful. Am I allowed to say that about my own work? "It' like masturbation, really, listening to yourself," says a character Marie in High Fidelity. Whatever. This record was all about experimentation-a chance for me to explore all the different ideas I'd had festering in my head for the past few years and to just indulge myself, basically. I've talked about the songs-as-people analogy, how they start out as babies and then as they come into their forms, they sprout arms and legs...these guys have grown beyond that, even, and sprouted wings. Shameless, aren't I? At least they affect me in this way, I don't know if the effect on anyone else will remotely come as close. Maybe not. I hope so, but it's not necessary, weirdly enough. I like it too much myself to care. Maybe it won't even go anywhere and the only people who will ever hear it are people who already live in the same town as I do, and friends of my parents. But at least I'll have a sweet internship at the Sydney Opera House if all else fails. Rock and Roll, y'know?

“I think people who can truly live a life in music are telling the world, "You can have my love, you can have my smiles. Forget the bad parts, you don't need them. Just take the music, the goodness, because it's the very best, and it's the part I give most willingly.”
George Harrison

I'm recording vocals

today and I've never been more scared shitless in my life. You can play any instrument well, but the instrument of the human voice...well, that's a whole different bag. The words, the melodies, that's really the backbone of it all, what people remember, isn't it? Guitars and drums and strings are all secondary; they're all just supporting actors, the real meat is in the melody, that human element of speech and sound. The way those two flaps in my throat are feeling today, whose state of being has been influenced by the stir fry I ate for lunch today and the weed I smoked this weekend, are going to make noises that will be caught on tape and preserved for all the world to hear and will be documented and listened to over and over again until people don't care about it anymore or all traces of it are destroyed. How do you go about recording the human voice? There are so many different things you can do to it, so many different ways to manipulate the noise that comes out. Every nuance, every quiver, every holler and consonant and frequency is so fragile, so changeable. At least for me. I'm a pretty consistent guitar and piano player, and I'm not bad at those instruments either, but I've never been totally consistent or confident with my singing voice - I've never considered myself "a singer." And this is bad because right now the worst thing to do is freak out, because I read in a book that the emotions you're feeling while singing actually have a physical impact on your vocal cords and influence the way the sound is produced, and I can't sing out of fear - making music out of fear is the worst thing you can do. So rest assured that sometime between now and the car ride over to the Jimmer's I will have abandoned all of my panic to embody a readiness and spirit unembodied in myself in the past hour to embrace the daunting task of singing my guts out, joyfully, soulfully, lovingly. Okay. I best get back to polishing my pipes. Wish me luck. Ahem...mi mi mi mi...

"You can do very interesting work if you're lunatic enough to do it."
-Jamie Lidell

so many things!!!!!!

1) first of all - my friend Jared Saltiel did the most amazing cover of my song Seasons which is up on his page. It's so beautiful, and I am so flattered that he liked the song enough to want to do his own version of it...he has such incredible production intuition and I love the double guitars, the charango, the drums...god damn, I almost like it better than my own. He thinks he overproduced it, but I think it's perfect. So please have a listen and support him and his music, he's a wicked multi-instrumentalist and songwriter and you would be foolish not to trek to see him play any time, any town. Check it out right HERE.

2) I went up to north campus with a couple mics, my MBox, and my laptop and went into one of the practice rooms to record some piano songs I had floating around that I wanted a recording of, which I have dubbed "the purple piano demos" due to the purplish tint of the piano I recorded them on. I'm not really planning on doing anything with them, so you can download or listen to them all HERE if you like them. Other than the piano version of seasons, the songs - "cat and mouse," "oh howard!" and "court and spark" (joni) were recorded live. Even though my crappy condenser mic definitely doesn't do that grand piano justice, I'm pretty excited about having new songs on there. If anyone for any reason wants the charlene myspace staples - modern nature, different colored eyes, and don't worry bout me - just send me an email (kayechar@Umich.edu) and I'll send them your way.

3) My friends Ben and Leah are in a band called Lightning Love! and they have pretty much become my new favorite Ann Arbor musical obsession...it's a trio of Leah ..boards, Ben on guitar, and Leah's brother Aaron on drums. Totally irresistible, catchy, indie pop, but it's more than that. They sing about real things - about smoking on the porch and bumming on the weekends, and boys who are taken - and the honesty and spirit is undeniable. Leah's childlike voice put together with the other instruments all combine to create this sonic quality that will never fail to make the corners of your lips curl up and inject a bit more sunshine in your step. Not to mention they're the nicest, most unassuming people ever. I think talented and nice go hand in hand, don't you? Check out their adorable demos on their myspace or come see their live show to have them charm your pants off with their sweet and sassy selves. God, I love them.

<4) WE ARE DONE WITH ALL THE TRACKING (except vocals - yikes!) After the next couple sessions with the Jimmer the thing is pretty much ready for mixing and mastering....aaaahhhh!!!!! I'm bursting with excitement about it, and I can't wait to finally let everyone hear it...it's really different than I thought it would turn out, but I couldn't be happier. Everything sounds beautiful and huge and insane. Jim has been unbelievable throughout this whole thing. He is one of, if not, my favorite people on the planet and to have somebody who is really into your music and does so much more than just press buttons is so invaluable (why is it that valuable and invaluable mean the same thing? I guess the same reason that a fat chance means the same as a slim chance... anyway...)

okay. enough gushing. I'm happy. it's springtime. I'm going to do nothing but read High Fidelity and listen to happy pop music this week.

read this book.

seriously. I just finished it and the back of my head is blown off.
more about it HERE.

This kid is the future.

thank god we're teaching our kids the right stuff nowadays.

the luckiest

I don't care how many weddings this song has been played at or how many times I've heard it, in my opinion, "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds is one of the best love songs ever written. Hands down.

tickled pink.

what other band members call me and remind ME to practice for our show?

what other band members want to call themselves "the charlenes," or show up early for every practice, or know all the words to my songs, or will gladly sing and play their instruments at the same time?

what other band members DANCE when they're not playing?!

For christ's sakes, they practice on their own. They bring toys and ideas and energy and presence to everything. They like my music. And they like me!!

I've never met a more enthusiastic and loving group of musicians than Taryn Wood, Emily Haltom, and Mike Swain.

they are...how shall I say it? The shit.

spreeeeng!! (dos)

seriously...

66 degrees today and sunny.

this is the day I've been waiting for for four months!!

some interesting thoughts about the passage of time this winter - when you're head's buried under the clouds, you don't notice things you normally would until things get nice again. I tried on my sandals for the first time since november and they actually crackled satisfyingly under my feet from lack of use. I looked in the mirror this morning and my hair was suddenly halfway down my back. I found a rotted orange behind my dresser that's been there for god knows how long.

Books I want to re-read as soon as school gets out:

1. High Fidelity
2. Bridget Jones' Diary (part 1)
3. The Kite Runner
4. Effortless Mastery
5. Harry Potter 7

Movies I want to see once school gets out:

1. Every Hitchcock movie ever made
2. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
3. Snatch
4. Annie Hall
5. Zoolander (duh)

I think I was made for warm weather. i love Ann Arbor but I probably would want to move out to California after college - my head always falls prey to the dreariness of winter and I don't think i could handle that every year. I got a mosquito bite yesterday and i'm not even mad about it.

i've been inspired.

Thank you Antony for letting me raid your hard drive and getting every record I've been wanting to get all year but had neither the money/resources/energy to...started out with Swedish singer Jens Lekman's "Night falls over Kortedala." And what an album. WHAT AN ALBUM! Put it up against anything anyone's making today, or in any era - this is as good as indie pop gets. Rare is the songwriter who not only is incredibly soulful and witty but also unique, strange, beautiful, transcendent. Thank you, Jens Lekman, for making me walk down the street with my headphones on today skipping down the concrete and going, "what's going to happen next? what's he going to do
next?" I still haven't figured out how to post mp3s on here but I did find this site where you can listen/download his music right HERE. check out "opposite of hallelujiah" and "friday night at the drive-in bingo." do it.