prison food

We walked the earth
We talked and never spoke a word
She wonders who'll be the first to go

I said, "You know,
The biggest things we gotta face alone
Don't wanna when it's time to go"

Alone
Alone again
Alone
Alone again

A trace of me, it floats in my periphery
And every time I turn to see it goes

Alone
Alone again
Alone
Alone again
Alone
Alone again

Floating by like a satellite
To pass the time, you'll float by again
And I can tell you 'bout the little things
So you don't think
About the big things for a while

We walked the earth
We talked and never spoke a word
She wonders who will be the first to go...

Good one, God!

"Slow down everyone
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that."
-J. Johnson

it really is strange. how right when i'm seemingly at the end of my rope, when I think things just can't get any worse, when i feel like i'm going to go out of my mind unless I get some answers...the universe has a way of just throwing them at me in the nick of time. To the point where I'm like, oh. Duh. What was I so worried about? This encounter has happened twice, to the point where it supercedes the realm of coincidence, or at least that's what it feels like. I know I worry and that it's one of my biggest faults, but lately I feel like there are forces at work trying to teach me something. That I should step back sometimes when I'm zoomed in too close on one trivial aspect of my life and look at the grander picture, at the overall scheme of things. I've definitely observed this year that one of my biggest life lessons is just to let go and let God do his thing, and trust that there's an order to the mosaic that will reveal itself when the time is right. But lately it's just been uncanny. I was talking to Meg about this over coffee and I was telling her verbatim how I thought that time was the only barrier preventing us from knowing the exact reasons for things until we're meant to, and the SECOND it left my lips, bam. It happened. The universe did it again. The scene before my eyes shifted and delivered me the answer on a silver platter.

lolcats

i've officially found the cure to my winter foggy head syndrome.

right here.

happy place

Everyone has a happy place, right? that one place that comes to mind in context of the phrase, " go to your happy place!" that one place you can return to and every time you do it feels like everything's right with the world. It's home for some people, in their lover's arms, etc. Well, I've switched homes more times than I can count on my fingers and toes, and I don't got no lover on this post-valentines day slump. My happy place is in the recording studio. I've got Jim, engineer who has grown to be one of my greatest friends, a room full of toys (all the instruments you could fathom in one room together), twinkly lights, junk food, wires galore, comfy couches, and more dum-dums than any one person could eat at once. There's no place in the world I love being more than in that old house off Jackson Rd, where in that 100-square foot area inside, I get to escape from everything else in the world and create. Synthesizing something out of nothing; seeing and hearing my ideas bloom and move around in the air and wriggle about and finally come into their skins - there's nothing in the world that makes me feel like that. It's the only place I feel that switch just turn on - where I can feel real, physical electricity flowing through my body, lightning coming out of my mouth and hands. purpose. realization. truth.

Last night and I Ross went down there to lay down some trumpet tracks. I had heard him play before, and knew he was an amazing trumpet player as he's in the Macpodz, but he KILLED it. We had worked out some parts and some solos beforehand but I was still amazed while sitting there next to him, watching him...the sounds! the SOUNDS!! everything he laid down was just so tasteful, deliberate and beautiful. What is a good musician but someone who can really get INSIDE a song and flesh out all those gaps and cracks inside of it to give it wings with his or her own interpretation of it? He was jubilant and energetic for the uptempo ones, contemplative and mournful for the sadder tunes, and captured emotional nuances in between I didn't even know were there. Then I taught Jim and Ross some backup vocal parts for a couple songs and watching them putting all of their energy towards getting it right, genuinely trying to make it sound good, on MY music, was quite a feeling. Like any other experience in which a friend has done something nice for you...picking you up from class, or cooking you something, or just spending time with you, I was touched. They really cared. And it shows in the song. Bless their cotton socks - I'm honored to know them as friends and as people.

thats all for now. thank god it's the weekend! phew!

paramore.

never mind that my emo phase took a bow around 9th grade, or that the last time I rocked a power anthem like this was around the time I got my braces off (although now that I think about it, it was actually last month when we played the entire weezer blue album at james's). I think pop music is on an upsurge right now, and here's one of the reasons why. Somehow Paramore entered my world and i can't. stop. listening to them!! Takes me back to high school when I had red highlights and chuck taylors and would mope around writing angsty ballads about my unrequited loves (who, oddly enough, bear a strange resemblance to the guitarists in the video). And, she can sing her ass off and make it seem totally effortless, which I am always a sucker for. She's genuine, and that's enough sometimes. Hayley Williams, rock on.

happy birthday feist.

What a luminary. i love this woman. Feist, happy freakin' birthday.

videotape.

When i'm at the pearly gates
This'll be on my videotape
When Mephistopheles is just beneath
And he's reaching up to grab me
This is one for the good days
And I have it all here
In red blue green
You are my centre when I spin away
Out of control on videotape
This is my way of saying goodbye
Because I can't do it face to face
No matter what happens now
I won't be afraid
Because I know today has been
The most perfect day i've ever seen

blog.

Welp, here I am. A blog. It's taken me a little while to find a host I'm comfortable with, but I'm feeling pretty good about this one. Let 'er rip.