Elephants.

God, what a song. Rachael Yamagata kills me. She KILLS me!!!!

SKIN AND BONES

watch the music video my brilliant sister, thom and mark arnold directed.



WATCH IT!!!

Paper Bag

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
i thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag
hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
Cuz I know Im a mess he dont wanna clean up
I got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold
hunger hurts, but starving works
when it costs too much to love

Ahhh. i JUST discovered When the Pawn... by Fiona Apple. Always ahead of the game.

it's done.

October 10, 2008!!!!

listen to some tunes HERE.

Today I'm grabbing monday by the balls and throwing its ass all the way to next weekend.

ohgawd.

22?!?!?

great. what birthday do i have to look forward to now? social security at 65?

renting a car at 25?

gimme something to work with.

now that my purse has been stolen

and I have magically still managed to maintain my iPhone throughout all this, here is what I lost~

-the keys to my house
-my driver's license
-my student ID card
-my credit cards
-my key identificators which were so sweet because they were different colored guitars!!
-approximately $17.00 in cash
-my DARTH VADER WATER BOTTLE (gentle sobs).

Never mind the license or credit cards. I don't have to drive in michigan and i can always renew those. But I've had a long relationship with that water bottle. It was my little friend, a piece of me. Likewise, a little piece of me withered up and died inside yesterday at the loss of my purse and all its contents.

this post is for bryanna

bryanna complains that I never update my blog anymore so here's one for her. the fall is gloriously busy and exhilarating. classes have started and i'm taking 3 english classes (including a creative writing class) and a world war II class, which I love already. bryanna is going to come visit me for a football game on some weekend this fall and I'm stoked. My new house is amazing. The album will be released October 10 at the Yellow barn with Frontier Ruckus and i could die of antici.....pation. (new tracks up HERE.)there's no internet in my room. the amount of junk in our living room that we have yet to organize is astounding. my birthday is on friday and we're having a derelicte-themed bash to break in our new place in celebration. i watched Woody Allen's Sleeper tonight and I loved it. my iPhone is not disappointing me at all. I could use a little more banana bread in my life right now.

John Coltrane

"My goal is to live the truly religious life and express it in my music. If you live it, when you play there's no problem because the music is just part of the whole thing. To be a musician is really something. It goes very, very deep. My music is the spiritual expression of what I am - my faith, my knowledge, my being . . . When you begin to see the possibilities of music, you desire to do something really good for people, to help humanity free itself from its hangups. I think music can make the world better and, if I'm qualified, I want to do it. I'd like to point out to people the divine in a musical language that transcends words. I want to speak to their souls."

John Coltrane

Perpetuum Mobile

Wurlitzerlust.

It will be mine.



Oh yes. It will be mine.

Don't expect a care package from me any time soon.

If I could make a list of my favorite things to do, going to the post office would rank at the absolute bottom of that list. It's a place I've come to thoroughly despise. From the moment you walk in, the smell hits you like a brick wall - something between the spectrum of smelly feet and mothballs, among various junk that's probably been sitting there for years - some discounted office supplies, stale mini-paks of M&Ms, the greatest hits of Willie Nelson. Some awful elevator-type music is always noodling overhead, usually Kenny G or something along the lines of smooth jazz.

Apart from the depressing ambiance, what really gets me is the people that work there. Everyone behind the counter seems bitterly aware that they have the worst job in the world and nobody has any qualms about showing it with the "kill me now!" attitude they plainly exude. You are forced to wait in a line longer than the Nile and inhale that nauseating fish-mothball air for what feels like a year, to interact with people who hate their lives and consider dying from licking too many envelopes a legitimate cause of death. It's hot and stuffy and the people in line clearly think along the same lines as you do, loosening their collars and wondering how fast they can do this before bolting for the exit. Once I asked one of the workers if I could borrow her pen to address my envelope, and she gave me a toneless, "there are pens in Office Depot next door." She wouldn't let me use her pen!! She might as well have just shrieked, "I have a letter opener and I'm not afraid to use it!"

Finally, the ridiculous cost of shipping these days is the cherry on top of my unpleasant post office excursions. Any time I try to mail something it always ends up costing me like a billion dollars. Which is why I say, I am avoiding that place like the plague. Or you better thank me with arms open for mailing you the birthday card that cost me $8.00 to send you. (I'm not naming any names...Spencer.)

Oh and while we're at it, another thing that really annoys me is people who take the elevator (or, "the lift") to the 2nd floor. But that's another post.

joie de vivre

Joie de vivre (from the French joie, "joy"; de, "of"; vivre, "to live, living"; "the joy of living") is a term sometimes imported into English to express a cheerful enjoyment of life; an exultation of spirit. Joie de vivre, as one scholar has written,

"...can be a joy of conversation, joy of eating, joy of anything one might do… And joie de vivre may be seen as a joy of everything, a comprehensive joy, a philosophy of life, a Weltanschauung. Robert's Dictionnaire says joie is sentiment exaltant ressenti par toute la conscience, that is, involves one's whole being."[1]

In English common usage, the phrase is sometimes corrupted to joie de vie. This would translate to "joy of life" or "zest for life," rather than the more affirmative "joy of living."

WHO is rolf harris?!?

I'm in the throes of writing a press release on this guy Rolf Harris who's coming to the Opera House for his first show in 10 years. I'd never heard of him before, but apparently he's HUGE in Australia and even bigger in the UK. I'm talking headliner at Glastonbury, people dubbing him "the king of music," sold-out stadium crowds in the 70's and 80's. My coworkers say that he's a big deal because he's made a career doing these things called "novelty songs" - goofy songs that everybody eats up like hotcakes because they're just so ridiculous and out there to be taken seriously - such as his cover of "Stairway to Heaven" (below). His claim to fame is the instrument he's dubbed the "wobble board" - while shaking off a painted canvas to dry one day, he discovered the interesting sound the cardboard made as it flopped back and forth. hence, the wobbleboard was born. It's so scathingly brilliant. Seriously, if stuff like this excites you as much as it excites me, get off your arse and watch this right now.

Another reason to love my job.

Is there another female rock and roller out there who has ever reached the likes of Patti Smith?

Lean, bold, androgynous, she could howl and shake it like any man could but all the while still retained this fierce femininity with so much radiance and attitude. She's jammed with Dylan and Springsteen, she ignited the punk revolution, she's brave and creative and audacious and has always kept it real. She’s a legend and still rocking harder than ever today. And I got to write a press release about her upcoming concert here at the Opera House. Yeah. I’m floating.



'Sydney Opera House is delighted to present American rock legend Patti Smith in a “show to shake your world” on 15 October 2008, Concert Hall.

For the first time in a decade, the so-called “godmother of punk” will perform for Australian audiences, showcasing her critically acclaimed new album Twelve and the best of her back catalogue.

Bursting onto the New York music scene in ‘67 vowing to "kick poetry in the ass," Smith lit the spark that ignited the punk explosion with her ecstatic blend of free-form poetry and three-chord rock.

Her first album, Horses, was released in 1975 and is widely considered to be a staple in American rock music. In 2006, Time Magazine hailed it as one of the 100 greatest albums of all time, and Michael Stipe of R.E.M, who bought it as a high school student, said that it "tore my limbs off and put them back on in a whole different order.”

Today, Smith still possesses the same wiry physique and explosive stage energy that turned heads in the 80’s and 90’s and prompted numerous critics to dub her “the female Mick Jagger.” Even now, she revels in being likened to her pop idol: "You can't imagine…me being this skinny, weird kid from New Jersey, who saw The Rolling Stones in 1965 in a high school gymnasium, never thinking ever that I'd be performing a handful of years later being compared to him."

Throughout the late 80’s and 90’s, Smith not only increased her repertoire of songs but also authored a number of books containing original poetry and artwork. Recently, she staged her own exhibition in Paris entitled Land 250, a show of drawings, audio recordings, and videos which covered the last 30 years of her life.

With five albums out in the past 13 years and more to come, Smith has no intention of stopping. Next month, she plans to release a musical rendition of some of her 1996 poems. She doesn’t drink or smoke, and says that she still feels “healthy and strong.”

"I don't have any regrets in terms of how I've conducted my life," she says. "I've always respected my life and I'm not a self-destructive person."

Unlike other concerts, Smith will put a unique twist on her Sydney performance by creating her set list on the spot, choosing her songs only minutes before taking the stage. She will be performing in the Concert Hall, the Opera House’s largest venue, with a four-piece band.

"I'm not a real musician," she says. "I don't really play any instruments. A little guitar and I sing ... I'm more of a performer. I started as a painter and a poet. So my self-identity isn't as a musician. It's more as a writer.” '

-Charlene Kaye

i've got the world on a string...

Dear blog, i'm sorry I've neglected you. Oh god, where do I start? i think i'm just gonna gush in rapid spitfire mode....

First of all - I love my apartment, which looks out over Darling Harbor and the Sydney Tower. And I love my roommate, who COOKS twice a day for me without my asking her. So I come home from work at the end of the day and there's a table set with a 3-course meal totally ready, wine glasses out, napkins folded into cute little shapes. I feel like storming through the door when I get off the train and yelling, "Honey, I'm Home!" Basically, her husband is going to be a lucky, lucky man - seriously, I'm taking notes...I'm so easy to please with food that I'll just cook the same thing over and over again without getting tired of it and slop it on any old plate, but for her, it's all about the presentation. All the fruit is meticulously arranged in little stars or flowers (she's in graphic design, so...naturally), the toast is perfectly positioned on the plate, the spoon is always next to the knife. I'm learning.

So as for my work!!! Right now I'm typing this blog from my desk in the Sydney fucking Opera House (pardon my french). a week and a half into my job and I feel like I've been here for a year. I absolutely love it here. there's nothing cooler than being around good people who love art and helping to promote the most amazing world-class performances (and getting to see artists at work for free!!) Having this job has made me so aware of all the different kinds of "concerts" out there, which i'm continually amazed at. i'm already getting ideas for shows in the fall, so don't be surprised if you come to a show and my bandmates and i throw down our instruments and bust out in a coordinated backstreet boys-esque danced sequence mid-song, elbow thrusts and all....but anyway....

the cool thing about working here is that it's totally not an archetypal stuffy "opera house" - the performances range anywhere from opera to comedy, magic, pop singers, symphony orchestras, dance, and everything in between - so far i've seen a 1920s style cabaret show with mimes and on thursday i'm seeing a marlene dietrich tribute show. The next week I'm seeing My Fair Lady, the next a contemporary version of Hamlet. It's a dream to just be around good people and music and helping promote ART! and the performing arts. and after this job i know that no matter what I do, I always want to be around art of any kind, whether i'm doing it myself or helping others do it. It's made me think a lot about the importance of art in general in society and life and has raised a lot of questions for me about the purpose of art, why people do it if it's nearly impossible to make a living for it (film, visual arts, music, acting, or anything). ultimately i think there's some nobility in the idea that doing it for love is what keeps people doing it, not money or anything else. The office is as colorful as the people are, and maybe more so than the performances, what's blown me away me most about this place are my colleagues - everyone is genuinely excited to be here and to be working on the shows. they're all amazing people - they've got no walls, they have no ulterior motives (as far as i can tell), nobody's condescending in the slightest towards the little American intern, and i can detect none of the manipulative power hungry one-upping one another bullshit i've observed in american offices. They're just honest, easygoing, enthusiastic, generous, joie de vivre kind of people. and that's what I'm talking about.

On the weekends we've been wakling around the city, going to the aquarium, eating at lots of Irish pubs and going to the beaches. And I've been reading - I'm chipping away at Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (Safran-Foer) and next in line is Me Talk Pretty One Day (Sedaris). I'm having a ball and this trip was just what i needed to get away from it all and have a much-needed period of meditation and regrowth after being in the wilderness for the past few months. already i feel better, healthier and more confident than i have in ages.

one downside...because there's no internet in my apartment and TIME magazine costs $17.00 (no joke) at the magazine kiosk...i have been completely disconnected with american life and news and politics. I have no idea what's going on with the election or whether Britney's still in rehab or how much will have changed when I come back. Australia is blissfully removed from the rest of the world's problems, it seems...makes me totally identify w/that ben folds song 'adelaide' (another city in australia) - "here you know the world could turn / and crash and burn / and you would never know it / going where the air is clear / there's better beer / in adelaide."

one last thing - can I just mention that my coworkers ACTUALLY say "G'day, mate!" when talking on the phone?!?! my life is complete.

i am

so happy here.

massive update soon.

Chocolat

Wow Chocolat was one of the best books I have ever read in my life.

i have arrived.

what? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the calamari i'm eating.




dad.

Oh, and the Dalai Lama was apparently on our plane from Singapore to Sydney?!

Bleed American

Jimmy Eat World's "Bleed American" is one of my favorite albums of all time, as I concluded as I was packing for Sydney today and played the whole thing through after having not heard it for a while. It wrenched my guts when I was at 13 and it wrenches my guts still at 21. I've kind of lost track of what they're doing right now; I wasn't too crazy about Futures and I heard Chase This Light got unenthusiastic reviews, but Bleed American...man. If there were ever an album that came out within the past 10 years that's a display of powerful, emotional, unadulterated rock and roll, this would be it. Dueling electric guitars and sublime drums aside, I love Jim Adkins' voice, which can be totally raw and guttural on the more rockin tracks but also can morph into a soulful croon which works just as well over the acoustic numbers. There was a time in 9th grade where I would sit immobile on the floor in front of my stereo for an hour with a bowl of cereal and just listen to "If You Don't, Don't" over and over and again. God, I loved that song. The driving piano is awesome, and the passion in Adkins' voice over those lyrics makes it simultaneously one of the most uplifting and heartbreaking songs I have ever heard. Except for "The MIddle," (which I eventually found to be sort of grating after hearing it on every TV show, in every coffee shop and in every shopping mall for months in 7th grade) I can listen to every track from "A Praise Chorus" to "Hear You Me" to "Sweetness" over and over again. They are all fantastic. "Bleed American"'s optimism, romanticism, youth, mystery and energy will never get old for me. Hats off, boys.

Travelogue #5: Singapore

the view from my dad's apartment. wow, right?

I know a monster update is in order, but I've been having too much fun to actually sit and write it all down. First and foremost, I think it's hilarious that everyone here talks to me and regards me as a local even though I have no idea what the shit they're saying. People I meet are completely confunded that I don't speak the dialect here even though both of my parents are Singaporean. I keep trying to explain that I was born in the states, and even when I lived here I only went to American schools, and they just won't have any of it! Even so, I've managed to get by these past 2 weeks with the basics - "lah" is a word that is tagged on to the end of every sentence as emphasis, and when said in the right way, can effectively convey any emotion you're trying to get across with its appropriate sentence - "put the fish in the oven, lah." "Hillary finally pulled out, lah." "Why you so dark, LAH!?!?" (my aunts.)

last night I went to this music festival called Rock The Sub at one of the only venues in town that supports local music - this place called Timbre. On the whole it was a fantastic show save for the crowd full of old people and preteens that looked either scared, shocked, or just...bored. The bands were REALLY GOOD too, but nobody seemed to be feeling it. I was hooting and hollering throughout one band's (awesome) rendition of Zeppelin's "Dazed and Confused," and people looked at me like I was an axe murderer holding their kid's head in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. It's really eye-opening experiencing another country's music culture on the other side of the world...there definitely is one, but there's absolutely zero support for musicians here in Singapore. You cannot make a living playing original stuff, the only way to make money doing it is to play covers at a bar for a hundred bucks a week. And even then, people are still only mildly interested in what you're doing, they consider it background music. And these people are WICKED good!! There was this Indian lady who could sing like a muthaf&*#@$ and had killer piano chops to boot, playing her own stuff at this bar... and do you know, people didn't even seem to care less. She could have been juggling chain saws along to Meat Loaf and they still probably wouldn't have turned away from their drinks. It was rather depressing. How do you make a living through art these days? Not even music, but painting, film, writing, theater, etc. There's definitely a way, but it's difficult as hell. Maybe there's some nobility in the fact that creating beauty isn't a basic need of society. Maybe doing it for love is the only reason after all.

What else...I went to my mom's old church on sunday and was introduced by my cousins as "Lily Lam's daughter" (maiden name). People FREAKED. "LILY LAM!?" Apparently, my mom was a BAMF at her church when she was my age...she was really pretty and popular and had a lot of boyfriends and was the star singer of the choir etc. Jeez. I had no idea she left such a legacy on that place. People were grabbing me and telling me how much I looked like her and I met a thousand people I had never seen in my life who were all incredibly interested in me, the spawn of Lily Lam, goddess among men. Damn, mom. Break me off a piece of that!

things are starting to blur again...it always happens that as soon as you get into the swing of things it's time to hitch up and go somewhere else. I'm going to australia on Tuesday and I haven't even begun to pack yet. Alas, the summer goes on and on...no time to think much today, am going to dinner with the aunties (all 6 of them). There is delicious homemade chinese food to be had, there is wine to be drunk. (drank?)

love!



^singapore's financial district.

and by the way.....Iron Man was SO GOOD!!!!!!

Travelogue #4: Singapore

I swear, if I have to watch 27 dresses on another airplane, somebody is going to get kicked in the face. Bad movie. Bad, bad movie.

In other news...just got into my dad's apartment in singapore this morning at 3 am...it felt a little strange to be back alone at first, but more than anything I felt something which I haven't felt for any place other than ann arbor for a long time...that feeling of home. Coming back to a place that knows you, seems to welcome you and go, hey, good to see you. It was a good feeling. I love this apartment and Singapore and I'm really excited to hit the town with my dad today and have some really fucking good Chinese food.

I am SO excited bcause my friend Darren Criss is coming back to the States today (not that I'll be there to welcome him...but nevertheless!!) He's the one who sang all the male harmonies on the record, and when he gets back in the fall - and I may be jumping the gun here - but aside from my solo stuff we're going to start a little side project together, just me and him, called Ladies and Gentlemen in the inspiration of other male/female duos in the past (She & Him, the Weepies, the Mill Stone, etc.) So look out for that in september...I'm so excited!!

Also exciting in the music world of Charlene Kaye is the fact that my sister just did the most beautiful vocal/guitar arrangement of the Beach Boys' "Wouldn't it be nice" I have ever heard in my life. I'm talking full-throttle Brian Wilson harmonies (do you have any idea how hard it is to figure out every note in those trillion-part beach boys harmonies?), I'm talking oohs and bop bops, I'm talking soul. She's the real deal, people. The kitchen sink. The kit and kaboodle. I can only hope to embody the same kind of free, untainted joy and love for a song that she manifests in everything she sings and plays. So go check it out on her MYSPACE right now. And if you like that, which you will, then check out her other covers and her own amazing songs, "Writer's block" and "syllables.

And just because I can, I'm going to post this...makes me so happy. Thanks to Bryan, who I met that night, for volunteering to capture the magic!!


Okay, so nothing exotic and foreign and exciting yet...my head's still in ann arbor. But gimme a break, I just got here. More soon.

Signing off from Singapore,
C DollaZ

Travelogue #3: Tokyo

Jet Lag is a pain in the arse. Sitting here at 3:10 am for the 3rd night in a row hoping to facebook chat and catch up with people from home and just generally having my mind being overwhelmingly tired and groggy but my body restless and wide awake. Today's our last day in Tokyo before we fly down to Singapore tonight. 7 hour flight!! In my western ignorance I guess I assumed all Asian countries were just a hop, skip and a jump away from each other, but nope. It's like Cher's dad said in Clueless about L.A. : "Everywhere in LA takes 20 minutes!!!" Funny how that's stuck with me after all these years. Although to be fair, Clueless did define my adolescence (or early adolescence, anyway).

Last night my dad and I went to eat some sushi (surprise!) and while I was sitting there in the booth waiting for our food I kind of zoned out and started looking all around the restaurant, noticing that the Japanese businessmen all sitting at the bar didn't seem to be talking at all. And if some of them were, it was nothing more than a murmur, or a faint whisper. That's the custom over here in these collectivist cultures - the overwhelming desire for unobtrusiveness, modesty, not trying to attract too much attention to yourself. Even when we were riding the subway I looked around and everyone was either immersed in a book, looking directly down into their laps, or sleeping. It was totally silent. Anyway, as I was sitting there thinking about all this, Lady Irony decided to pull a fast one on me and I dropped the cup of tea I was holding so it made a huge crashing sound on the table and caused all the tea to pour into my lap, through my white dress, scalding my thighs. I let out a sort of animalistic scream of pain and the ENTIRE RESTAURANT went silent, if it was possible for it to be more silent than it already was. But it was a different kind of silence - this was a LOUD silence. Every murmur stopped, every single head turned, the waitress flipped and started running around like a chicken with her head cut off, shouting, "Serimasen!! Serimasen!!" (which means I'm sorry). I kept going "it's okay, it's okay!" But she ran to get me some towels anyway and when she came back, started frantically dabbing at my wet dress, yammering away in Japanese, then actually lifted up my skirt and started dabbing my bare legs with the towel!!! (At this point everyone quickly turned back around.) The whole thing was just absurd and silly and hilarious to me, and so I just started laughing, and once I started I couldn't stopped. This appeared to be a bigger scandal than the whole spilling tea debacle, which made me laugh even harder. I'm such a lady, huh?!

Travelogue #2: Tokyo

While I've had a ton of time in my hotel room by myself I've been trying to do some exercises in a genre I dub "place songwriting." Just kind of soaking in the general atmosphere of a place, soaking in the sounds, the people, the feel of it all, and trying to come up with an aural component for that experience...I was inspired by songs like Rufus's "Barcelona," Sufjan's "Chicago," (fuck, all of Sufjan's songs about places), Sinatra's "New York, New York," Mason Jennings' "California"...the list goes on. It's been such a unique and mindblowing experience even after only 2 days in this crazy city. People who have never been out of the U.S need to experience coming to a place where finding a soul who speaks your language is like trying to find the message in a Will Ferrell movie, where making eye contact with someone rarely ever happens, where eating goose liver for breakfast is as ordinary and routine as brushing your teeth in the morning. My taste buds are still getting acclimated to all the interesting foods I've come across...so much raw fish...always raw fish!! For breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Unagi, maguro, ahi, among many other forgettable pronunciations and names. American arrogance aside, I'm actually really surprised that hardly anybody speaks English, because I thought Tokyo was one of the international business hubs of the world and I guess I thought more American businessmen frequented this place. Even the subway signs are all english-free...my dad spent 10 minutes trying to get the guy in the ticket booth to give him an English map. "Map," he said frantically, making a square in the air with his index finger. "Map." And all this time the guy was just smiling and nodding at him pleasantly as if he were telling a nice joke before finally realizing what my dad was miming. Sheesh.



We did eventually get to our destination thanks to this ^ ...went to the Western museum of art and I used my knowledge from my art history classes to educate my dad about Impressionism and Modernism and what the little dots in the Signac painting meant...it was great. We're about to tackle the craziness of the subway station yet again. It's raining outside and looking down from my window I see masses of umbrellas, moving along the sidewalk like little colorful dots. It made me miss America already. More to come soon.

Travelogue #1: Tokyo.

Hooray! I'm alive. I'm sitting at the tiniest desk in the tiniest hotel room I have ever seen in my life at the Shinjuku Washington Hotel in Tokyo. My head and whole body aches because I haven't slept in 18 hours (13 hour plane ride!) and I'm horribly jet lagged. It's 9 pm here but I'm trying to keep myself awake long enough to go to bed at a semi-normal hour so I can wake up at a semi-normal time tomorrow. So if this blog trails off mid-sentence, know that it's because my head drooped over the keyboard in a failed attempt to stay conscious.

I just went into the little hotel drug store downstairs to try and buy some face wash, as I had forgotten mine, but since everything was in Japanese, I couldn't tell which bottle was which and got a little worried at the possibility of lathering foot cream onto my face if I chose the wrong bottle...I combed the racks and found a couple bottles which may or may not have been what I was looking for, with no english description except for this written under the huge japanese block letters: "menthol and ginger gives pleasant tingle sensation when applied." Hmm. Nice, but a little vague. The only other thing that i saw was "Men's face wash." Men's? What about the women's? I took the bottle and brought it up to the lady at the register, dumbly asking in English whether they had WOMEN'S face wash, because this was men's. She looked at me and went, "Men-zu?" I said yeah, Men's. She went to go browse the rack herself, coming back a minute later with a white bottle labeled FACIAL WASH - presumably for both sexes - and exclaimed, "Men-zu!", thrusting the bottle at me, having obviously thought that Men-zu meant "face wash" in English and looking like she had just split the atom. for a moment I felt pretty arrogant and ashamed for wondering why she didn't speak English, feeling that American egocentrism kick in; the belief that the whole world should be able to speak English because we do. I thanked her, and after struggling a little with the Yen to pay her, went on my merry way.

In my 3 hours of being here the most noticeable thing for me is that the Japanese have an overwhelming penchant for all things small. Tiny pillows, tiny TV, tiny trash can and desk, tiny toothbrush and toothpaste. Everything is very neat and clean and orderly, not a wrinkle to be found in the sheets, not a thing out of place. The young people around here are all trendy as hell...all the girls are impossibly skinny and all wear loose, baggy shirts with tight black capris and high heels, and the boys all seem to favor a kind of spiky, sideswept rockstar 'do with popped collars, wide-rim glasses, dog tags, and skinny jeans.

i'm exuberant at the thought of seeing the city tomorrow. My dad and I are going to see a sumo match at some point this week, which i'm really excited about. And I've definitely hit that wall of tiredness, so I'm giving in...until next time...kjdsghfnDL?EWv

making of the album

So, i think i owe it to you to show you what it is exactly that I've been up to these past 9 months. I finally compiled all the footage jim, ross, myself and mike had gotten on tape, and made a little mini-documentary of it. There's definitely a lot that wasn't caught on tape, this is mostly drums and background vocals...but it's still pretty funny and endearing (to me, anyway). An intimate behind-the-scenes sneak peek, if you will. Enjoy.

Things I Will Need in the Past

was mixing in the studio for 8 hours today. Two songs - "Seasons" and "Strike a Chord - that are like, 85% mixed....are up on my myspace - briefly!!! So have a sneak peak for good things to come and take a listen HERE. I'm so happy and proud of them and I hope you like them as much as I do.

Oh, and there's officially a title: The record will be called "Things I Will Need in the Past." Separate post on that to come. Release date will be September 2008. I'm really excited.

i chopped off my hair.

why? because my dear mother's most current obsession is Posh Spice's haircut and because she wants to live vicariously through me, BRIBED me with cold, hard cash to cut my hair just like her. Now ordinarily, I wouldn't dream of selling my self-respect for a couple measly benjamins, especially because haircut advice from mom has never brought anything but dreadful results. The little angel on my shoulder was yelping: I make decisions for myself! I do what I want to do, not what my wallet says I should do! But the little guy on my other shoulder was saying, you are gonna be an unpaid intern this summer, you have a record to finish and an engineer to pay, and you don't have anybody to impress anyway. Well, all right, I thought. So I caved, and marched into the salon today with my eyes clamped shut, expecting the worst. I boldly told the lady to do her thing, and when it was over, I opened one eye, took a deep breath.......and went, oh. really? It wasn't even bad after all - in fact, I really like it! So the moral of the story is, even though I did it for money, above that I did it in the name of art, and that in itself retains some nobility, right? Man. I still don't really know how it happened - one minute I was sitting around, living off the fat of the land, and the next I was sitting in a salon chair and POOF! 7 inches of hair was gone.



but i'm pretty happy with it.

side note: I swear I've paid for this record in the most unusual ways. The other day I gave Jim $277 in old gift cards that I found in my wallet and room which spanned various birthdays and christmases (Target, Borders, and Joe's Crab Shack) over who knows how many years. I'm not even mad about it.

yessssss.

You can have my love, you can have my smiles.

AaAAahAhAaaAAHhhhh...

Here's food for thought...I'm going to be interning at the Sydney Opera House this summer. Whaaaaaaaat??

Yup. I'll be working in the marketing department, which involves event planning, writing press releases, being the coffee and donut bitch, spending wayyyy too much time on the phone, watching world-class performances for FREE!! et cetera. It's unpaid, but I mean...come on. It's the world's most recognizable music landmark and to someday have a job that somewhat resembles this one is my dream. I can't wait to meet new people (aussies!), to plan and run performances like oh, I don't know...the Copenhagen Royal Chapel Choir, Madame Butterfly, The Australia Ballet, the Berlin Symphony Orchestra. Shit.

And of course there's the bittersweetness of leaving what could I could have done behind - stay in Ann Arbor and work to pay for these recording costs which are kicking my ass right now (god, could my mouth be any more potty today? Jesus. Oh, and there I go blaspheming...twice...sweet.), not to mention finish the album, which is SOOOO close to completion I could just sit and gnaw on my fingernails from anticipation. But the more I think about it the more I see how much I really need to get out of this town that is starting to feel smaller and smaller with every year, and broaden my horizons...I've been in ann arbor for about two years straight now and after this disgusting winter holed up in my room, I need something...what is it? i know...beauty! adventure! risk! a new environment, new people, new experiences. A clean slate. The end of my college career is sneaking up so much faster than I thought it would. Shit is getting real. I don't know if it's good or bad that getting this internship feels like the most adult thing i've ever done in my life. I'm flying to a totally unfamiliar place by myself, living on my own, working for myself (albeit unpaid), doing things for me, and not for a teacher or professor for once. Weird.

But seriously....the album. In the name of everything holy, it sounds fucking beautiful. Am I allowed to say that about my own work? "It' like masturbation, really, listening to yourself," says a character Marie in High Fidelity. Whatever. This record was all about experimentation-a chance for me to explore all the different ideas I'd had festering in my head for the past few years and to just indulge myself, basically. I've talked about the songs-as-people analogy, how they start out as babies and then as they come into their forms, they sprout arms and legs...these guys have grown beyond that, even, and sprouted wings. Shameless, aren't I? At least they affect me in this way, I don't know if the effect on anyone else will remotely come as close. Maybe not. I hope so, but it's not necessary, weirdly enough. I like it too much myself to care. Maybe it won't even go anywhere and the only people who will ever hear it are people who already live in the same town as I do, and friends of my parents. But at least I'll have a sweet internship at the Sydney Opera House if all else fails. Rock and Roll, y'know?

“I think people who can truly live a life in music are telling the world, "You can have my love, you can have my smiles. Forget the bad parts, you don't need them. Just take the music, the goodness, because it's the very best, and it's the part I give most willingly.”
George Harrison

I'm recording vocals

today and I've never been more scared shitless in my life. You can play any instrument well, but the instrument of the human voice...well, that's a whole different bag. The words, the melodies, that's really the backbone of it all, what people remember, isn't it? Guitars and drums and strings are all secondary; they're all just supporting actors, the real meat is in the melody, that human element of speech and sound. The way those two flaps in my throat are feeling today, whose state of being has been influenced by the stir fry I ate for lunch today and the weed I smoked this weekend, are going to make noises that will be caught on tape and preserved for all the world to hear and will be documented and listened to over and over again until people don't care about it anymore or all traces of it are destroyed. How do you go about recording the human voice? There are so many different things you can do to it, so many different ways to manipulate the noise that comes out. Every nuance, every quiver, every holler and consonant and frequency is so fragile, so changeable. At least for me. I'm a pretty consistent guitar and piano player, and I'm not bad at those instruments either, but I've never been totally consistent or confident with my singing voice - I've never considered myself "a singer." And this is bad because right now the worst thing to do is freak out, because I read in a book that the emotions you're feeling while singing actually have a physical impact on your vocal cords and influence the way the sound is produced, and I can't sing out of fear - making music out of fear is the worst thing you can do. So rest assured that sometime between now and the car ride over to the Jimmer's I will have abandoned all of my panic to embody a readiness and spirit unembodied in myself in the past hour to embrace the daunting task of singing my guts out, joyfully, soulfully, lovingly. Okay. I best get back to polishing my pipes. Wish me luck. Ahem...mi mi mi mi...

"You can do very interesting work if you're lunatic enough to do it."
-Jamie Lidell

so many things!!!!!!

1) first of all - my friend Jared Saltiel did the most amazing cover of my song Seasons which is up on his page. It's so beautiful, and I am so flattered that he liked the song enough to want to do his own version of it...he has such incredible production intuition and I love the double guitars, the charango, the drums...god damn, I almost like it better than my own. He thinks he overproduced it, but I think it's perfect. So please have a listen and support him and his music, he's a wicked multi-instrumentalist and songwriter and you would be foolish not to trek to see him play any time, any town. Check it out right HERE.

2) I went up to north campus with a couple mics, my MBox, and my laptop and went into one of the practice rooms to record some piano songs I had floating around that I wanted a recording of, which I have dubbed "the purple piano demos" due to the purplish tint of the piano I recorded them on. I'm not really planning on doing anything with them, so you can download or listen to them all HERE if you like them. Other than the piano version of seasons, the songs - "cat and mouse," "oh howard!" and "court and spark" (joni) were recorded live. Even though my crappy condenser mic definitely doesn't do that grand piano justice, I'm pretty excited about having new songs on there. If anyone for any reason wants the charlene myspace staples - modern nature, different colored eyes, and don't worry bout me - just send me an email (kayechar@Umich.edu) and I'll send them your way.

3) My friends Ben and Leah are in a band called Lightning Love! and they have pretty much become my new favorite Ann Arbor musical obsession...it's a trio of Leah ..boards, Ben on guitar, and Leah's brother Aaron on drums. Totally irresistible, catchy, indie pop, but it's more than that. They sing about real things - about smoking on the porch and bumming on the weekends, and boys who are taken - and the honesty and spirit is undeniable. Leah's childlike voice put together with the other instruments all combine to create this sonic quality that will never fail to make the corners of your lips curl up and inject a bit more sunshine in your step. Not to mention they're the nicest, most unassuming people ever. I think talented and nice go hand in hand, don't you? Check out their adorable demos on their myspace or come see their live show to have them charm your pants off with their sweet and sassy selves. God, I love them.

<4) WE ARE DONE WITH ALL THE TRACKING (except vocals - yikes!) After the next couple sessions with the Jimmer the thing is pretty much ready for mixing and mastering....aaaahhhh!!!!! I'm bursting with excitement about it, and I can't wait to finally let everyone hear it...it's really different than I thought it would turn out, but I couldn't be happier. Everything sounds beautiful and huge and insane. Jim has been unbelievable throughout this whole thing. He is one of, if not, my favorite people on the planet and to have somebody who is really into your music and does so much more than just press buttons is so invaluable (why is it that valuable and invaluable mean the same thing? I guess the same reason that a fat chance means the same as a slim chance... anyway...)

okay. enough gushing. I'm happy. it's springtime. I'm going to do nothing but read High Fidelity and listen to happy pop music this week.

read this book.

seriously. I just finished it and the back of my head is blown off.
more about it HERE.

This kid is the future.

thank god we're teaching our kids the right stuff nowadays.

the luckiest

I don't care how many weddings this song has been played at or how many times I've heard it, in my opinion, "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds is one of the best love songs ever written. Hands down.

tickled pink.

what other band members call me and remind ME to practice for our show?

what other band members want to call themselves "the charlenes," or show up early for every practice, or know all the words to my songs, or will gladly sing and play their instruments at the same time?

what other band members DANCE when they're not playing?!

For christ's sakes, they practice on their own. They bring toys and ideas and energy and presence to everything. They like my music. And they like me!!

I've never met a more enthusiastic and loving group of musicians than Taryn Wood, Emily Haltom, and Mike Swain.

they are...how shall I say it? The shit.

spreeeeng!! (dos)

seriously...

66 degrees today and sunny.

this is the day I've been waiting for for four months!!

some interesting thoughts about the passage of time this winter - when you're head's buried under the clouds, you don't notice things you normally would until things get nice again. I tried on my sandals for the first time since november and they actually crackled satisfyingly under my feet from lack of use. I looked in the mirror this morning and my hair was suddenly halfway down my back. I found a rotted orange behind my dresser that's been there for god knows how long.

Books I want to re-read as soon as school gets out:

1. High Fidelity
2. Bridget Jones' Diary (part 1)
3. The Kite Runner
4. Effortless Mastery
5. Harry Potter 7

Movies I want to see once school gets out:

1. Every Hitchcock movie ever made
2. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
3. Snatch
4. Annie Hall
5. Zoolander (duh)

I think I was made for warm weather. i love Ann Arbor but I probably would want to move out to California after college - my head always falls prey to the dreariness of winter and I don't think i could handle that every year. I got a mosquito bite yesterday and i'm not even mad about it.

i've been inspired.

Thank you Antony for letting me raid your hard drive and getting every record I've been wanting to get all year but had neither the money/resources/energy to...started out with Swedish singer Jens Lekman's "Night falls over Kortedala." And what an album. WHAT AN ALBUM! Put it up against anything anyone's making today, or in any era - this is as good as indie pop gets. Rare is the songwriter who not only is incredibly soulful and witty but also unique, strange, beautiful, transcendent. Thank you, Jens Lekman, for making me walk down the street with my headphones on today skipping down the concrete and going, "what's going to happen next? what's he going to do
next?" I still haven't figured out how to post mp3s on here but I did find this site where you can listen/download his music right HERE. check out "opposite of hallelujiah" and "friday night at the drive-in bingo." do it.

they always tell you, "stay inside the lines."
but something's better on the other side...

oh, sweet frivolity.

Can I just say, right now I have no thoughts or opinions on anything neither deep nor insightful, and on this glorious spring day when everything seemed to be going right, the thing that most boosted my spirits when I looked in the mirror this morning was...wait for it...my hair. Oh yes. I'm going to throw away every notion of self consciousness when I say, my hair looks damn good right now. And it hasn't, all semester. I've got typical asian hair - just way too thick and resilient for me to ever be able to do anything creative with it, so I just used to wear it long, and let it do whatever it wanted. But after a while I always started to itch, I got bored, and my mom would inevitably convince me to take it to the metal with her style of choice, and i'd always hate it. It was a vicious cycle - grow. get sick of it. cut. freak. cry. grow. get sick of it. cut. freak. cry. you get the idea. But this time, I think i got it right. Last month I did some layers in the front myself with more meticulousness than usual, and even though it looked weird at the time, now it's starting to look less awkward and more...sweet. I don't care what anybody says, I'm never taking anyone else's advice about my hair from now on (love you mom). no matter how badly she wants me to look like Cyd Charisse, Reese Witherspoon, or her, I will not succumb. I just don't look good with straight-across-the-forehead bangs, my face shape just isn't conducive to that kokeshi doll kind of haircut (the last and final attempt occurring over winter break, where it was just short beyond reason and painfully weird looking.) anyway, hurrah! the awkward phase is over! so excuse me as I toss my mane in the sunlight and carry on with my day. aren't you glad you got to read about it??

Foolish Love.

I don't want to hold you and feel so helpless
I don't want to smell you and lose my senses
And smile in slow motion
With eyes in love

I twist like a corkscrew
The sweetness rising
I drink from the bottle, weeping
Why won't you last?
Why can't you last

So i will walk without care
Beat my snare
Look like a man who means business
Go to all the poshest places
With their familiar faces
Terminate all signs of weakness
Oh, all for the sake of a foolish love

I will take my coffee black
Never snack
Hang with the wolves who are sheepish
Flow through the veins of town
Always frown
Me and my mistress, the princess
Oh, all for the sake of a foolish love

So the day noah's ark floats down park
My eyes will be simply glazed over
Or better yet
I'll wear shades on sunless days
And when the sun's out, i'll stay in and slumber
Oh, all for the sake of a foolish love
All for the sake of a foolish love

Cause i don't want to hold you and feel so helpless
I don't want to smell you and lose my senses
And smile in slow motion
With eyes in love.

-Rufus Wainwright

ruminations in rendezvous

1) you gotta love the guys at rendezvous. I've never met a bigger bunch of clowns in my life. i'm sitting here writing a paper and one of them's belting "maria maria!!!" the santana song from the back room, the other's banging on the countertop, bread and capers and lettuce flying everywhere, one of them's speaking rapidly in french to the girl next to me, spittle flying in her hair. It's a monday morning and it's very, very slow. I just asked for a Mango chiller and the greek guy I always see behind the counter with a completely blank facial expression goes, "no." I had just walked a mile from my house and back again because I forgot my wallet, so I'm red in the face and panting, and I go, "uh, please?" And the guy goes, "If you that thirsty, why don't you just get some water?" And I go, trying to be as polite as possible, "Because I don't want water, I want a mango chiller?" This goes on for a good minute, until his stone face cracks and he shrieks, "AHHHH!! MANGO CHILLER!!!!" I jumped about 3 feet in the air. Then he heckled me a little more, just for kicks. "I make it good for you, special, because I like your sweater," he says, flashing me a toothy grin. "The next time I not be so nice." Ah, foreign humor...

2) I'm completely fascinated by the way we use visual and tactile adjectives to describe music. Ex: "warm cellos," "bright snare," "dark mood," "curving melodies." it adds such a clear mental element to visualizing sound. In the mixing process words like that fly out all over the place and I'm pretty attuned to them, but once in a while I actually stop to think about it and realize how interesting it is. I guess it beats trying to replicate the noise in my mouth when trying to describe it, because usually it's laughably inaccurate and i end up looking like a fool. I would love to have synesthesia. Hearing colors and patterns whenever you listened to music would be the most awesome disorder ever.

3) All right, spring. Where the hell have you been? It's the end of march and I'm still putting up with your bullshit. Now you listen, you get here within the next couple weeks or I will personally go up there and drag you out from behind the clouds with my own two hands. I'm serious.

4) Figure skating is so awesome. I watched the couples world championships on TV last night and i was completely enthralled. I never realized what an art it is, how many factors actually go into the judging process. This couple from China performed their routine PERFECTLY, like, not an elbow out of place; they were technically flawless. But this Russian couple who went right after them flubbed once on a double axel and STILL got a higher score on their routine because they "elicited more emotion" in the judges. I was floored. Putting aside all my thoughts on race and the questionability of judged sports...it also made me think that it's just like music - technicality only accounts for so much, unless you've got some kind of authenticity or soul it means nothing. Makes me think about how the goal of all art is to elicit emotion or thought in the viewer/reader/listener. Cool.

FIN!

when you're talking to someone, talk to them.

i never want to have a meaningless conversation again. I don't know what it is sometimes - you see the person there but you know that they're really somewhere else, they're just filling up the space between you and him or her out of a feeling of obligation or self-interest or boredom. I understand much of it has to do with the context of the situation and what kind of a day they're having and the necessary stage of getting past formalities and what not. And I'm certainly not imposing unconditional wide-eyed interest as a go-ahead for me to want to get to know someone better. But it is a nice feeling to know you're not just talking for the sake of talk. Wanna have a conversation? Let's have a real one. You don't even have to say that much, just be sincere. Please, let's be candid and interested and openminded and present. I don't care how important you are or how many gold rings you're wearing or how many shows you've been in or played. Don't talk to your beer or the TV or the person behind me or ask me what my name is five times. It's insincere and it's irritating.

matt jones.

hokay. so. once in a while, I get so worked up about a certain musician that I will want to shamelessly tell everyone and anyone who will listen about them. Fellow ann arbor-ite Matt Jones is one of these people. those who know me can tell you that I've pretty much become an evangelist about Matt's music, but in all seriousness, i can't speak highly enough of him; the man puts so much heart and beauty into his songs and I'm continually amazed at whatever he comes up with. He's a master at creating mood; the arrangements of the warm cellos and guitars, the dark imagery of his lyrics, and the melodies!! are entirely spellbinding. Every single morning this week i've sat riveted in front of my speakers listening to the tunes on myspace from his upcoming record, also being made with Jim. Naturally, he's being courted by a few labels right now, so it might be a while before the album drops, but when it does...let's just say, the tectonic plates underneath us are going to shift...just you wait and see. All right, I'll stop slobbering over Matt...but please, do yourself a favor and check him out right HERE. My favorites - "Threadlines" and "One cotton shot short."

"that's right, i'm cutting loose from winter
i'll leave you frozen in ponds and city lights
for christ's sakes, your booze hound's hungry
feed her nothing at all, let your fingers fight."

Weng Weng!!

"Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else in the world."

-George Bernard Shaw

effortless mastery.

"As musicians/healers, it is our destiny to conduct an inward search, and to document it with our music so that others may benefit. As they listen to the music coming through us, they too are inspired to look within. Light is being transmitted and received from soul to soul. We must descend deep into the ocean of the inner self while the sludge of the ego floats on the surface. We let go of our egos and permit the music to come through us and do its work. We are the INSTRUMENTS for the work.

If we can live in this realization, we will constantly have deep motivation for what is played, never getting stuck in the ungrateful consciousness of good gigs/bad gigs, out-of-tune pianos, low fees, ungracious audiences, and so on. Instead, our minds will be consumed with what a very great privilege it is to be the one selected to deliver the message to others. There is no good/bad music. Instead, our hearts and minds will be focused on the task of remaining empty and alert to receiving this God-inspired information and translating it faithfully, without any coloration from us."

-kenny werner (music buddha)

friends.

Where would I be without them?

spreeeeeeng!!!

today i was woken up by a BIRD out my window!!

it's 50 degrees and sunny!!

people are playing music on the diag!!

boys are jogging and playing catch by our porch!!

it's all happening!!!!

thoughts can become things!

I'm eating lucky charms and reading this book called The Secret right now. Really good stuff. All about the laws of attraction in the universe and how our thoughts can shape our destiny, how thinking positively will bring positive things to happen to us, and so on. here're some stuff I especially liked....

"our job as humans is to hold on to the thoughts of what we want, make it absolutely clear in our minds what we want, and from that we start to invoke one of the greatest laws in the universe, and that's the law of attraction. you become what you think about most, but you also attract what you think about most." -bob doyle.

So, your life right now is a reflection of your past thoughts. That includes all the great things, and all the not-so-great things. Since you attract to you what you think about most, if you think about what you want in your mind, and make that your dominant thought, you WILL bring that to life. thoughts can become things. "if you see it in your mind, your'e going to hold it in your hand."

Another thing I found interesting was their saying that thoughts are magnetic; that thoughts have a frequency. As you think, those thoughts are sent out into the universe, and they magnetically attract all like things that are on the same frequency. everything sent out returns to the source - you. this way, you can attract the good instead of the bad. if you think of yourself living in abundance, you are powerfully and consciously determining your life through the law of attraction. the problem is, most people are thinking about what they don't want, and they're wondering why it shows up over and over again.

when you focus your thoughts on something you want, and you hold that focus, you are in that moment summoning what you want with the mightiest power in the universe. quantum physicists say that the entire universe emerged from thought--you create your life through your thoughts and the law of attraction.

It's in so many religions and can be found in any kind of art, film, or music. banish all the bad energy, Let it go. Throw it out. Embrace the good, the present, the real, the tangible. you can THINK your life into existence. as long as your'e thinking, the law of attraction is working. whether you're thinking about the past, the present, or the future, the laws of attraction are working. we're thinking most of the time, so we should make sure our thoughts are good. you CREATE your life with your thoughts. because you are always thinking, you are always creating. What you think about the most or focus on the most, is what will appear as your life. If you convince yourself you're going to do a good job on your final, you will, because those positive energies will naturally gather around your positive state of mind. Same for anything else in the world anybody else might want.

it's so uncanny but it's been working. all the signs turned to "walk" when I was crossing the street today. A bus seat opened up right as I got on. The skies were clear and spring seemed closer than it ever has before (thank GOD.)

hmm.

some typical conversations between me and jenny armstrong

Me: "Why is seldom a word? Was it necessary for the English language to come up with another word for 'rarely'?"
Jenny: "I think seldom's a great word. I don't know. I hear it, and I just...like it. Maybe because I hear it so seldomly."

Me: "Isn't it weird how anything can be made out of soy beans? Like, tofu's made from soy beans. Soy milk is made from soy beans. Veggie burgers are made from soy beans."
Jenny: "People are made out of soy beans."
Me: "...What? no they're not..."
Jenny: "Oh yeah, that's like, calcium..."

Me: "You're so good at finding common ground with people."
Jenny: "Nah, I just come from a long line of small talk-ers."

Jenny: "Hey, look, it's Michael Capo!" (with reference to our friend Michael Cappo, seeing my capo on the shelf.)

girly man! man! man!

it's been a rough winter. it's so easy to get sucked into your own little world when it's cold outside and forget to look around you and appreciate the things you've overlooked since you started hating being outside. The harmonica guy on the Diag. The squirrels that you almost miss since it got cold. (Speaking of squirrels, I had an intense dream last night about my house and my car being infested with squirrels and the only way to get rid of them was to catch them and put them in glass tubes...weird. Anyway...) But last night made me realize how important it is to surround yourself with good times and good people to maintain a healthy state of mind. Went to the gold party and watching Antony's band play, feeling the energy they brought, was just so inspiring and awesome. Being around all of our friends and dancing like maniacs to them and Something Different in the Homemade Jam. That was so needed. made me remember how fun college is when people's energies are up and excited to be alive.

I also played a show last night with Mick Bassett and his band the Marthas. Wonderful, raw, innovative rock and roll. the tightest band I've seen in a while. 2 trombone players! Plus everyone in the band plays every instrument, and the whole show they were round-robining and killing it on everything they touched. Awesome arrangements, awesome music...check them out.

I'll leave you with this Indian version of "thriller" that encapsulates everything I love about bollywood and pop culture in general.

i'm never speaking up again

It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than he desert me

oh, i'm never speaking up again
starting now...

AAAHHHHHHH

prison food

We walked the earth
We talked and never spoke a word
She wonders who'll be the first to go

I said, "You know,
The biggest things we gotta face alone
Don't wanna when it's time to go"

Alone
Alone again
Alone
Alone again

A trace of me, it floats in my periphery
And every time I turn to see it goes

Alone
Alone again
Alone
Alone again
Alone
Alone again

Floating by like a satellite
To pass the time, you'll float by again
And I can tell you 'bout the little things
So you don't think
About the big things for a while

We walked the earth
We talked and never spoke a word
She wonders who will be the first to go...

Good one, God!

"Slow down everyone
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that."
-J. Johnson

it really is strange. how right when i'm seemingly at the end of my rope, when I think things just can't get any worse, when i feel like i'm going to go out of my mind unless I get some answers...the universe has a way of just throwing them at me in the nick of time. To the point where I'm like, oh. Duh. What was I so worried about? This encounter has happened twice, to the point where it supercedes the realm of coincidence, or at least that's what it feels like. I know I worry and that it's one of my biggest faults, but lately I feel like there are forces at work trying to teach me something. That I should step back sometimes when I'm zoomed in too close on one trivial aspect of my life and look at the grander picture, at the overall scheme of things. I've definitely observed this year that one of my biggest life lessons is just to let go and let God do his thing, and trust that there's an order to the mosaic that will reveal itself when the time is right. But lately it's just been uncanny. I was talking to Meg about this over coffee and I was telling her verbatim how I thought that time was the only barrier preventing us from knowing the exact reasons for things until we're meant to, and the SECOND it left my lips, bam. It happened. The universe did it again. The scene before my eyes shifted and delivered me the answer on a silver platter.

lolcats

i've officially found the cure to my winter foggy head syndrome.

right here.

happy place

Everyone has a happy place, right? that one place that comes to mind in context of the phrase, " go to your happy place!" that one place you can return to and every time you do it feels like everything's right with the world. It's home for some people, in their lover's arms, etc. Well, I've switched homes more times than I can count on my fingers and toes, and I don't got no lover on this post-valentines day slump. My happy place is in the recording studio. I've got Jim, engineer who has grown to be one of my greatest friends, a room full of toys (all the instruments you could fathom in one room together), twinkly lights, junk food, wires galore, comfy couches, and more dum-dums than any one person could eat at once. There's no place in the world I love being more than in that old house off Jackson Rd, where in that 100-square foot area inside, I get to escape from everything else in the world and create. Synthesizing something out of nothing; seeing and hearing my ideas bloom and move around in the air and wriggle about and finally come into their skins - there's nothing in the world that makes me feel like that. It's the only place I feel that switch just turn on - where I can feel real, physical electricity flowing through my body, lightning coming out of my mouth and hands. purpose. realization. truth.

Last night and I Ross went down there to lay down some trumpet tracks. I had heard him play before, and knew he was an amazing trumpet player as he's in the Macpodz, but he KILLED it. We had worked out some parts and some solos beforehand but I was still amazed while sitting there next to him, watching him...the sounds! the SOUNDS!! everything he laid down was just so tasteful, deliberate and beautiful. What is a good musician but someone who can really get INSIDE a song and flesh out all those gaps and cracks inside of it to give it wings with his or her own interpretation of it? He was jubilant and energetic for the uptempo ones, contemplative and mournful for the sadder tunes, and captured emotional nuances in between I didn't even know were there. Then I taught Jim and Ross some backup vocal parts for a couple songs and watching them putting all of their energy towards getting it right, genuinely trying to make it sound good, on MY music, was quite a feeling. Like any other experience in which a friend has done something nice for you...picking you up from class, or cooking you something, or just spending time with you, I was touched. They really cared. And it shows in the song. Bless their cotton socks - I'm honored to know them as friends and as people.

thats all for now. thank god it's the weekend! phew!

paramore.

never mind that my emo phase took a bow around 9th grade, or that the last time I rocked a power anthem like this was around the time I got my braces off (although now that I think about it, it was actually last month when we played the entire weezer blue album at james's). I think pop music is on an upsurge right now, and here's one of the reasons why. Somehow Paramore entered my world and i can't. stop. listening to them!! Takes me back to high school when I had red highlights and chuck taylors and would mope around writing angsty ballads about my unrequited loves (who, oddly enough, bear a strange resemblance to the guitarists in the video). And, she can sing her ass off and make it seem totally effortless, which I am always a sucker for. She's genuine, and that's enough sometimes. Hayley Williams, rock on.

happy birthday feist.

What a luminary. i love this woman. Feist, happy freakin' birthday.

videotape.

When i'm at the pearly gates
This'll be on my videotape
When Mephistopheles is just beneath
And he's reaching up to grab me
This is one for the good days
And I have it all here
In red blue green
You are my centre when I spin away
Out of control on videotape
This is my way of saying goodbye
Because I can't do it face to face
No matter what happens now
I won't be afraid
Because I know today has been
The most perfect day i've ever seen

blog.

Welp, here I am. A blog. It's taken me a little while to find a host I'm comfortable with, but I'm feeling pretty good about this one. Let 'er rip.