Don't expect a care package from me any time soon.

If I could make a list of my favorite things to do, going to the post office would rank at the absolute bottom of that list. It's a place I've come to thoroughly despise. From the moment you walk in, the smell hits you like a brick wall - something between the spectrum of smelly feet and mothballs, among various junk that's probably been sitting there for years - some discounted office supplies, stale mini-paks of M&Ms, the greatest hits of Willie Nelson. Some awful elevator-type music is always noodling overhead, usually Kenny G or something along the lines of smooth jazz.

Apart from the depressing ambiance, what really gets me is the people that work there. Everyone behind the counter seems bitterly aware that they have the worst job in the world and nobody has any qualms about showing it with the "kill me now!" attitude they plainly exude. You are forced to wait in a line longer than the Nile and inhale that nauseating fish-mothball air for what feels like a year, to interact with people who hate their lives and consider dying from licking too many envelopes a legitimate cause of death. It's hot and stuffy and the people in line clearly think along the same lines as you do, loosening their collars and wondering how fast they can do this before bolting for the exit. Once I asked one of the workers if I could borrow her pen to address my envelope, and she gave me a toneless, "there are pens in Office Depot next door." She wouldn't let me use her pen!! She might as well have just shrieked, "I have a letter opener and I'm not afraid to use it!"

Finally, the ridiculous cost of shipping these days is the cherry on top of my unpleasant post office excursions. Any time I try to mail something it always ends up costing me like a billion dollars. Which is why I say, I am avoiding that place like the plague. Or you better thank me with arms open for mailing you the birthday card that cost me $8.00 to send you. (I'm not naming any names...Spencer.)

Oh and while we're at it, another thing that really annoys me is people who take the elevator (or, "the lift") to the 2nd floor. But that's another post.